Maybe
Dear Rudolf,
It’s late, and I’m supposed to be in bed since I haven’t kept early hours for weeks. But I really feel like writing you this letter because I don’t want to wait until these feelings fade away. Thank you ….for last night, I had a wonderful and quality time with you at Maybe. I was so thankful to…whoever related that I called you right after my bad moments. Also, I was so glad you did your AIDS test without getting any desperate result and you were there sitting in front of me. And I feel sorry that your daddy is in the last stage of cancer ….I really don’t have any idea how you made it these few months. But we found your father’s name together in the newspapers you copied from the library. I want you to know it meant a lot to me because I knew it meant so much to you.
Honestly, it never occurred to me that what happened to you with Mr. Malaysia would somewhat happen to me as well. When you said you understood, I suddenly felt warm and comforted…it was as if everything was all arranged and we were all connected. Later on we shared other talks such as your research on paruresis and homosexual topics and our old memories and people we both knew or not knew…..just as what I said.. if I were single now and my mom wouldn’t oppose it, I would surely love to have you as my roommate so we can share our colorful lives together. It was weird that just a few talks that night, I suddenly realized how lucky I was to have you all with me….you know the truest part of me and I have no secrets to hide. You know I never drank with a bad mood, but it was close to that since I said the most dirty words per day in my whole life. To my surprise, the cocktails turned out to be happy drink right one hour later since we stepped into the bar.
I thank God for not taking you away from me. Remember you promised me that no matter what happens to you in the future, don’t do silly things because at least you still have me. Life to us seemed a bit complicated, but that’s also the beauty of it. Hardly anyone can really understand how much we care about each other and how much we cherish the time living right here at each moment. They will not be able to imagine what some of you have gone through….take Wen for example…it was life and death and I’ll always bear that in mind.
Thank you for sending me home on a taxi. On our way home, Wen called me….it was unbelievable because he never called me that late, but he did last night.
Can we say it was a coincidence? No, I don’t think so ….we were connected to each other and that’s why……it was like….meant to be.
The alcohol in my blood stream was gone completely this morning when I woke up. And I felt myself back again….light.
Sorry for writing in such a disordered manner, but you know me even without words.
Hope you have a wonderful day tomorrow.
Jane
2008.1.18
It’s late, and I’m supposed to be in bed since I haven’t kept early hours for weeks. But I really feel like writing you this letter because I don’t want to wait until these feelings fade away. Thank you ….for last night, I had a wonderful and quality time with you at Maybe. I was so thankful to…whoever related that I called you right after my bad moments. Also, I was so glad you did your AIDS test without getting any desperate result and you were there sitting in front of me. And I feel sorry that your daddy is in the last stage of cancer ….I really don’t have any idea how you made it these few months. But we found your father’s name together in the newspapers you copied from the library. I want you to know it meant a lot to me because I knew it meant so much to you.
Honestly, it never occurred to me that what happened to you with Mr. Malaysia would somewhat happen to me as well. When you said you understood, I suddenly felt warm and comforted…it was as if everything was all arranged and we were all connected. Later on we shared other talks such as your research on paruresis and homosexual topics and our old memories and people we both knew or not knew…..just as what I said.. if I were single now and my mom wouldn’t oppose it, I would surely love to have you as my roommate so we can share our colorful lives together. It was weird that just a few talks that night, I suddenly realized how lucky I was to have you all with me….you know the truest part of me and I have no secrets to hide. You know I never drank with a bad mood, but it was close to that since I said the most dirty words per day in my whole life. To my surprise, the cocktails turned out to be happy drink right one hour later since we stepped into the bar.
I thank God for not taking you away from me. Remember you promised me that no matter what happens to you in the future, don’t do silly things because at least you still have me. Life to us seemed a bit complicated, but that’s also the beauty of it. Hardly anyone can really understand how much we care about each other and how much we cherish the time living right here at each moment. They will not be able to imagine what some of you have gone through….take Wen for example…it was life and death and I’ll always bear that in mind.
Thank you for sending me home on a taxi. On our way home, Wen called me….it was unbelievable because he never called me that late, but he did last night.
Can we say it was a coincidence? No, I don’t think so ….we were connected to each other and that’s why……it was like….meant to be.
The alcohol in my blood stream was gone completely this morning when I woke up. And I felt myself back again….light.
Sorry for writing in such a disordered manner, but you know me even without words.
Hope you have a wonderful day tomorrow.
Jane
2008.1.18
posted by BlueLotus at 1:51 AM
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